of dear god

Dear GOD: Dear God is a global project for people around the world to share their innermost hopes - and fears - through prayer.

Title: My Girlfriend Had An Abortion Last Month

Dear God,
My girlfriend had an abortion last month. We talked about it, cried over it and came to a conclusion that its best we lose it. She was devastated after the ordeal as she felt she had lost a little part of herself during this incident. We are both young, desperately searching for better things in life. I am not financially stable or mentally ready to have a kid yet. I was told no one is ever ready. She knows i don’t want a kid yet, and she aborted it cos’ she loves me. She very much wanted the child but realized realistically we can never have one right now. Repercussions are severe. Everything reminded us about the abortion. Contrary to popular belief, men suffer from this as well. The guilt and frustration stemmed from this incident bores no limit. I couldn’t find strength to go to work everyday. I am mentally strained knowing that it happened because i am selfish.I am not able to make love to her nowadays due to this. Its just not the same anymore. Maybe its the stress, maybe work is wearing me down. I don’t know. She told me she couldn’t continue with me because seeing me reminds her of all the pain and hurt she had to go through.I sometimes feel its best if I can just vanish from this country, away from everyone I know and start afresh. I know fleeing seems tempting but i still stand here with my responsibility towards her.So dear God, can you give me the courage to forgive myself, be a better man and move on?

Ritcher, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia